Lord of the Fruits Basket
by Meanders01
Summary: Tohru returns some lost property and stumbles across a house of very unusual people... One shot and modern-day AU - at least on the side of Lord of the Rings.


**A/N - ****_This is all Frog's fault. So yeah. It's dedicated to her._** It was a cool, still day, and winter was slowly merging into spring. Tohru had walked to school with Yuki and Kyo, one either side of her, perfectly content. That was until two boys, sprinting down the pavement bowled into them, managing to squeeze between Tohru and her companions, one either side of her, both knocking her with their bags. "Damn kids." Kyo growled, as Yuki took Tohru's arm to steady her. "Are you alright?" he asked. "Oh, yes, I'm quite fine." replied Tohru, bobbing her head. "That's a relief," said Yuki, giving a small - but bright - smile. "Shall we continue to school?" "Yes!" chirped Tohru, quite regaining her enthusiasm. However, upon reaching the school, they were almost knocked over again. Momiji ran up to the three. "New kids!" he cried, throwing his arms around Tohru "There are new boys in our form!" The cow dude followed a little behind Momiji as useful. He and Yuki exchanged ~looks~. "I've seen them. Their energies are quite unique." Hands had appeared, seemingly (and in fact, probably) from thin air. Up was there too. "Wow." Tohru squeaked, a little overwhelmed. Momiji was still hung around her shoulders. "I'll introduce you!" promised the boy, releasing his grip "After school. We're sure to be friends by then! Anyway, byeeee!" He ran off. The cow man gave a vague gesture. "Someone's gotta watch him." said he, and left too. "Everybody's crazy here." Kyo scowled. The final bell had rung, and Tohru was just emptying her locker when she heard someone calling her name. She turned to see Momiji. "Hiya Tohru-chan!" he said happily, in English. Then he gestured to two boys behind him; the two who had knocked Tohru over earlier. They looked Western, and were both dressed in green hoodies, although different shades, and jeans. They were both rather short. "These are Pippin and Merry!" Momiji went on. "They're English!" "Greetings." replied Tohru in her best attempt at the language, bowing low. The two boys smirked, then one said; "Hi." which the other momentarily echoed. There was an awkward pause. Then the one who'd greeted Tohru second pointed down the corridor. "There's Frodo, and Sam. See you later, Momiji." They ran off down the corridor, sliding on the polished floor, where they joined two boys and disappeared. "Aren't they great?" Momiji beamed. "Mm," said Tohru. Then she gave a cry. "Look!" A leather bag was lying on the floor. "Oh, that's Merry's." said Momiji. "We better go return it! There might be homework to do in it!" Tohru proclaimed panickedly. "I can catch them if I run." "Don't you have work?" asked Momiji. "It's my day off!" Tohru leaned her hands on her knees in an attempt to get her breath back. She hasn't managed to catch up with the four whilst still in the school building, but she had got close enough to see where they were heading. However, they were going impressively fast, and she was hard pressed to gain on them. She got up and ready to go again, just in time to see them disappear into a fairly standard house. She was in a suburb and the house was uniform to those around, except for the mustard yellow campervan in the driveway. Holding the bag slightly defensively, Tohru approached the house and rang the bell. There was a few moments pause, and then a tall, blond haired young man with his ears full of plugs opened it. "Uh, hello." Tohru said timidly. "Hi?" "I came to, um, deliver this." she held up the bag. The man smiled. "Thank you. Did one of the hobbits forget it at school?" Tohru, wondering what a hobbit was, nodded. "Ah. They're quite insensible." the man continued. "And it was very kid of you to drop it round. Would you like to come in for a drink? I'll call the boys." "Uh, no, it's fine, thank you sir." "No, please. It'd be our pleasure." He indicated the inside of the building and Tohru allowed herself to be guided inside. The man had a long pony tail which snaked down his back, over the rough grey jumper he was wearing. He lead Tohru through to the kitchen, and turned the kettle. Tohru put the bag on the table - it was furnished like a European room, with a high work surface surrounded by stools. "I'll be back in a moment," said the man, and left the room. A moment later, a stouter, bearded, ginger man wandered in, saw Tohru, shook his head and left again. She continued sitting there, growing more uncomfortable. However, the blond man didn't take long to reappear. "I've just called the hobbits. They should be in in a minute." said he. "My name's Legolas. And you are?" "Tohru. Tohru Honda. Nice to meet you, Legolas-san." "You too." The kettle boiled, a high pitched squeak. Legolas turned to switch it off, and the four boys came in. "About time," said Legolas. "I'll leave you to serve our guest. Merry, I believe this is your bag?" One of the green hoodied boys - Tohru found it hard to distinguish them - gave a grunt that may have been thanks, then simply swept the bag off the table and to the room's edge. Tohru was a little worried by his lack of care. "Anyway, bye Tohru." said Legolas and left. Sliding into the seat opposite Tohru came a boy she hadn't seen before. He wore a red hoodie, then underneath an olive waistcoat over a white shirt; an odd choice of clothes. "Hi," he said smiling. His eyes were very wide and blue. "I'm Frodo." "Tohru Honda." she replied, bowing slightly. The last boy, dressed in overalls held up his hand. "I'm Sanwise," said he. Tohru bowed to him too. "You met Legolas then," said Frodo. He seemed nice. "Yes." "He is basically the world's biggest hipster," said Pippin - or maybe Merry - leaning forward. "He likes walking. And the environment. He's a barista for goodness sake!" "Also," added the other one "He's as gay anything." "Hmm." Tohru had lost them completely at 'hipster'. "Here ya are." Sam pushed a cup of green tea over the table towards Tohru. She smiled at him and bowed her head again. "Anything else?" he asked, and Tohru shook her head, then suddenly looked up. "Actually, I have a question. What's a hobbit?" Frodo gave a small laugh. "Just a stupid nickname that Legolas and Aragon came up with. Apparently it's too hard to refer to us individually." "Right. Uh, does Aragon have a beard?" "Well, yes, but that doesn't really narrow it down in this house." "Um, his hair is kinda red. And he's maybe a little bit-" "Fat!" shrieked one of the Merrin/Perry. "Noo!" Tohru held up her hands, in a panic now. "No! I wasn't going to say that!" She almost knocked over her tea in her anguish. "It's okay. Merry was just messing with you," said Frodo. Tohru allowed herself to be comforted. "That was Gimli," the boy went on. "He used to be a wrestler or something, I don't know, but he was good, whatever it was. Then he stopped, and whilst he's almost always in good spirits, he's been drunk as long as I've known him." "Right. Um, who's Aragon?" "He's cool," said possibly Pippin, and maybe Merry nodded. "He's currently trying to get a job as a park ranger at the conveniently situated national park down the road." Frodo expanded "He's here with his girlfriend." "She's almost as hipster as Legolas," interjected - and Tohru was almost sure it was him - Pippin. "She's a nurse. Saved my life once." Frodo smiled. "Okay. Um, your house seems kinda full?" "That's not all. There's also Gandalf. He's an old hippy, but he's also really smart. His beard is quite impressive. He's old too. My uncle-" "Oh, here we go." The two boys groaned together. Sam had started making something - a stew perhaps, and didn't appear to be paying attention. Frodo hmphed, but continued "finally there's Boromir. He's basically annoying and an idiot and stuff. He's a bathroom salesman. Him and Aragon have this long going argument - their dads were business rivals of something. I don't know. Aragon broke away from the business, and I guess Bozo just trailed out. And finally there's Aragon's girlfriend's dad. This is his house - he lives out here, although he's had to move out of his house a bit because there's so many of us." "And there's Gollum." added Sam, darkly. "Oh yeah! But he's actually called Smegal." Frodo turned back to Tohru. "He's my pet dog. He's hairless. "Oh." Tohru was a little overwhelmed. 


End file.
